Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Stare Directly At The Sun For Hours And You May Witness A Miracle!

Nearly 50 people in India seeking a vision of the Virgin Mary by staring at the sun have instead lost their vision. From Daily News & Analysis:
Even the churches in the vicinity disowned the miracle during Sunday mass after health officers and doctors approached the clergy. The house in question has been the centre of local rumours for a few months.  The hotelier, who has since moved to another house, had claimed that statues of Mother Mary in his house have been crying honey and bleeding oil and perfumes.

I've got a great new business idea! Though I'm pretty sure it was just tried in Thiruvanathapuram:
1. Tell people there's a miracle at my house, or better yet, someone elses house! ($10 entrance fee).
2. Throw some water on a statue of a religious icon.
3. Make video of the people who suddenly begin to pray and talk in tongues and dance wildly and whatnot and sell it to the scientists so they can use it in their war on religion. 
4. If the people figure out that the statue is not all that cool and worthy of prayer/dance/tongue speak, tell them that their sacred being can only be seen by the true believers and only if they concentrate really hard and stare at the sun for a few hours. Then take their wallets and laugh at them while they go all blind and stuff. 
5. Rinse and repeat.

1 comment:

BP said...

Sounds complicated. How about as they enter the house we just whack em in the head with a baseball bat and steal their wallets? I'm in.