More Good News For The Oceans!

In his infinite wisdom, Man has decided that the oceans are too complicated. In primordial times, the seas were home to simple organisms like sludge and slime and sludgy slime. We have made it possible to return to such a simple time, as our runoff and overfishing have enabled nothing but these to strive in their great swampiness. Oh, and jellyfish! Lots and lots of jellyfish! Because who doesn't want to get horrible rashes from prehistoric algae and then find himself in the midst of thousands of jellyfish? From the Los Angeles Times:

MORETON BAY, AUSTRALIA -- The fireweed began each spring as tufts of hairy growth and spread across the seafloor fast enough to cover a football field in an hour.

When fishermen touched it, their skin broke out in searing welts. Their lips blistered and peeled. Their eyes burned and swelled shut. Water that splashed from their nets spread the inflammation to their legs and torsos.

"It comes up like little boils," said Randolph Van Dyk, a fisherman whose powerful legs are pocked with scars. "At nighttime, you can feel them burning. I tried everything to get rid of them. Nothing worked."

As the weed blanketed miles of the bay over the last decade, it stained fishing nets a dark purple and left them coated with a powdery residue. When fishermen tried to shake it off the webbing, their throats constricted and they gasped for air.

After one man bit a fishing line in two, his mouth and tongue swelled so badly that he couldn't eat solid food for a week. Others made an even more painful mistake, neglecting to wash the residue from their hands before relieving themselves over the sides of their boats.

(thanks J for the tip)